


Whouffaldi Fanfiction Countdown

by MicroGalaxies



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Whouffaldi Fanfiction Countdown, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 01:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4587570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicroGalaxies/pseuds/MicroGalaxies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of six prompts for Tumblr's Whouffaldi Fanfiction Countdown to prepare to Series 9 of Doctor Who and all its canon-shipping goodness.<br/>(INDEFINITE HIATUS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "A Time Lord and a human walk into a bar..."

**Author's Note:**

> I finally gave in and traded in my old FanFiction.net account for an AO3 account, and decided to post my works for Tumblr's Whouffaldi Fanfiction Countdown here as my first story. I hope you enjoy! (and that I manage to use this new format of fanfiction writing/submitting correctly...)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara drags The Doctor to a bar, where she learns the one true weakness of the Time Lords- ginger beer. With an alien who hasn't gotten drunk in a very long time, hilarity ensues.

"Come on, you!" The small brunette said, pulling at the thin arm of the man next to her. "It'll be fun! Have you even stopped to get a taste of Earth life before?" Clara asked, elbowing The Doctor playfully. The Time Lord scoffed, lifting his head a bit in superiority. "Of course I have. I watched Vincent Van Gogh paint some of his most famous works. I met William Shakespeare and William Churchill, and I had Adolf Hitler locked in a cupboard!" Clara merely rolled her eyes. "Just because you...watched the _Queen_ being born or something...doesn't mean you've lived the human condition!" She exclaimed, yet keeping her voice down to a harsh whisper as they walked down the street. 

Clara had suddenly had enough. The Doctor had to always one-up everyone and everything, especially Earth and the Doctor-proclaimed 'pudding-brains' that lived there. "Doctor, please be a dear and tell me..." She began, using an exceptionally sweet tone, "-have you ever _rode a bicycle? danced in the rain? Fallen in love? Gotten drunk and sang karaoke? Kissed someone on New Year's Eve?_ " She asked, each example earning a poke on his chest, her voice getting angrier and her pokes becoming harder. The Doctor's eyes widened, making his famous owlish face of shock and somewhat of being taken back. "For your information, I'll have you know-" he began, watching as she began to walk once more, walking awkwardly -the 'penguin run', as Clara called it- to catch up with her. Clara had waited for him to catch up, but pulled him inside the entrance to the club they had finally reached to end the conversation.

The establishment was less of a nightclub and more of a pub. It felt old and warm- like a nice warm blanket and a fire in a fireplace during winter. It was barely inhabited, with shelves of alcohol bottles and rows of on-tap drinks. Dark wooden booths and stools with maroon upholstery. Sports played on a few small flat-screens on low volume, as chatter filled the bar from the few people who actually were there. 

Clara pulled him in, sitting down at the bar when she finally let go of his coat. "You're gonna have some good old-fashioned human fun tonight, mister." She vowed, immediately ordering a drunk from the bar. To deal with anymore of The Doctor today, she would definitely need some alcohol in her. "Sex on the beach, please!" She called to the bartender at the other end of the bar. The Doctor suitably stuttered, too shocked at that moment to form a reply. "Clara!" He snapped under his breath at her, "Why the _hell_ did you bring me to a _sex establishment_!?! I'm a Time Lord! I am _above_ sex if I wish to be!" He hissed, sound both shocked and appalled. Clara stared at him for a moment before erupting in giggles as the man came over with a tall, cylindrical glass. "Sex on the beach" he said, putting it down next to her as The Doctor inspected it. It was filled with a red liquid and was garnished with an orange slice. "-it's a drink, Doctor." She said softly, as if she was explaining it to a child. The Time Lord merely huffed, muttering under his breath about he knew what it was and he was just testing her. She began to sip at her drink, offering him the straw only to have him grumble and push the glass back towards her, looking down at the oak bar-top as if it was oddly interesting. 

"Black 'n Tan with Gosling's please!" She called, rolling her eyes at the stubborn man next to her. "You're gonna at least try this, 'kay?" She told him in a quiet whisper as his drink was prepared. He nodded, crossing his arms stubbornly as the drink was passed to him. He inspected it, seeing the amber color on the bottom, the brownish-black color floating above it, and creamy-white froth at the top. The older man reluctantly took a sip, only for his expression to change as he finished the sip, putting the drink down as he looked at her with wide eyes. "That...is surprisingly good." He said, trying to hide some of his enjoyment. Clara smiled, not wanting to tell him the bubbly froth had gotten on his upper lip. In the next few minutes he had managed to down the rest of the glass, ordering another. 

Clara never knew that the Time Lords' famous alcohol tolerance could be quickly diminished by the presence of ginger beer, which was in The Doctor's new favorite drink. After drink #2, he wrapped an arm around Clara's neck lovingly. "Y'know, Clara...did I ever-" his eyes suddenly turn towards the TV, stopping mid-sentence to forget what he was saying and cheer at a football goal. He was now suddenly entranced with the game, boasting about the Celtics while another man at the bar told him that the rival team, Liverpool, will 'kick their sorry Scottie asses'. He downed the last drop of his second Black and Tan, placing psychic-paper money down on the table. "Wanna bet?" The alien said in a proud growl, determined he would win the bet. The man quickly withdrawed, stating he wasn't wasting his paycheck on a silly bar gamble, trying to back out of it and still keep his manly pride. The Doctor puffed out his chest, turning to Clara. "See? I'm better than these stupid puddin' brains...oi! Two Moscow Mules!" He announced to the waiter jubilantly. The man came over with two copper mugs defrosted with lime slices, the Time Lord grinning as he pushed one towards Clara. "On the count of three-" he said, counting until they both downed the drink, both of them laughing heartily at the end. "Oh, Clara..." He cooed, "Why haven't we done this before? Oh- and two Screamin' Nazis, please!" He called out, the two of them doing the shots as soon as they appeared in front of them.

The rest of the night was a blur to the two of them. Random words and phrases ran through their heads like _Purple Haze, Pitt Bull on crack, Fireball,_ and _Brain Eraser_. The faint tunes of _Single Ladies, Don't Stop Believin'_ , and other songs plagued their minds. Clara opened her eyes, finding herself only in her black bra from the waist up, but was also wearing The Doctor's jacket. She a had slipped during her drunken sleep from a booth seat to underneath on the wooden floors, The Doctor laying with his body draped over the table she was currently under. She groaned, clawing up from under the table, looking at her cell phone to make sure nothing too bad happened last night. As she noticed that her personal YouTube account had countless hits on a video, she immediately became concerned.

Apparently the two of them hadn't realized they had visited the bar on karaoke night. The time was past midnight, and The Doctor sitting on a stool, with Clara sitting on his lap, their arms wrapped around each other. Clara smiled a drunken, yet genuine smile as she began the familiar duet from her childhood.  


_"There's something sweet,_  
_And almost kind..._  
_But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined._  
_But now he's dear,_  
_And so unsure,_  
_I wonder why I didn't see it there before..."  
_

Even with the pounding headache that had washed over her, she grinned at actually hearing The Doctor sing for the first time. Well, the first time she heard it and remembered it, that is.  


_"She glanced this way..._  
_I thought I saw..._  
_And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw._  
_No it can't be,_  
_I'll just ignore,_  
_But then she's never looked at me that way before..."  
_

If it hadn't been for the hangover symptoms that had slowly creeped up on her, she could've swooned. The Doctor twitched in his sleep at her voice, nudging his body towards her sleepily.  


_"New and a bit alarming,_  
_Who'd have ever thought that this could be?_  
_True that he's no Prince Charming,_  
_But there's something in him that I simply didn't see..."  
_

The video ended abruptly with them finishing the soft duet and nuzzling into each other like two cats cuddling. She proceeded to see that there were even more karaoke videos that had been posted from her account. The next one was just of Clara, who had managed to lose her shirt, doing almost the full choreography to _Single Ladies_. She had somehow taped beer can tabs and bottle caps to her hand, shiny-ends up, flashing them just like Beyoncé herself. 

Clara quickly slammed her phone down in shame, The Doctor waking up with a shudder. "Uh? Clara?" He asked sleepily, looking around at his surroundings. His mouth turned into a grin, chuckling heartily before looking back at her. "I've lived the human condition enough to last a while, I think." He said with a shake of his head, getting up from his seat, and then patting her shoulder. "Let's go to the TARDIS and get some hangover cures."


	2. “It doesn’t really look that sturdy! Come down from there!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Clara visit a tropical planet with a society of humanoids who live as one with nature. When a macho tribesman catches Clara's eye, The Doctor goes beyond his limits to impress her and one-up the other alien. (Major Twelve cockblock-angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, not really too fond of this prompt and what came of it. Classes started this week for me, so it's a miracle that this was even done. Week 3's prompt was just posted a few hours ago, so I'm hoping I can do better with that.

Clara stepped out of the TARDIS, looking up at what appeared to be a winding tree, only for her eyes to follow it, realizing it was a small root of one of countless trees around her, all of them hundreds and maybe even thousands of feet tall. Moss covered the bark, few gleaming on it from the small bits of light that somehow made it through the canopy. "Whoa." She managed to whisper, her mouth gaping open in pure awe. "What is this place?" She asked, "Isn't this from a James Cameron movie or something?" She was indeed right, for the gigantic forest did resemble that of the fictional planet of Pandora. 

The Doctor stepped out slowly, looking above, eyes scanning around the area for any signs of danger. "-this is the planet of Oxolotl 9. Tropical rain forests a across the planet unless there's mountains or sea." He explained, locking the TARDIS doors behind him as he led her through the 'underbrush', which was actually taller than the two of them, the real underbrush oddly lacking, revealing a dirt-covered and mossy forest floor. 

He led her through giant ferns and over boulders, stopping as he heard something. "What?" Asked Clara, only to receive a firm 'shush' sound from him. The Doctor pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver, holding it upwards and outwards like a gun or other more-threatening weapon. He began to shout defensively in some foreign language, receiving a reply in the same tongue from beyond a patch of ferns that were over eight feet tall. He brought Clara to his side as creatures emerged from the brush.

They were all tall. _Very_ tall. Roughly between eight and nine feet, skin completely smooth and teal. Darker cat-like stripes covered their entire bodies. They had large ears, which were almost horse or deer like in shape, and tails that flicked around their legs. The leading creature was very muscular, his paw-like feet treading softly on the ground. He wore a tanned fur loincloth, beaded rope wrapped at the top of the cloth. He wore braces of bark and had long hair, which was beaded like cornrows in places. His eyes were a yellow-green, and nose flat like that of a big cat like a lion, but the rest of his facial features were very humanoid. He held a spear in his hand, using it to balance himself as he and the rest of his party bowed to them. "Doctor." He said in a heavily accented English, getting up from his low position. "My people are honored to be in your presence once more, Sir." The creature then looked at Clara curiously, who had just begun her sentence asking The Doctor what the animals were. "I am Tecniok. Leader of the Armala Tribe. My people are a species known has Homo Leopardus, or Felisian." He said, giving Clara a warm smile.

Clara couldn't believe one could be slightly attracted to a cat. But- this one could _talk_! And he had _abs_! Clara blushed at his greeting, looking over towards The Doctor to see what they were going to do next. Before The Doctor could bid farewell and continue their jungle exploration for the day, Tecniok immediately spoke. "Would you like for me to show you around the forest, miss-?" He asked, holding out his furry hand. "Clara." She said with a smile, taking his hand politely as The Doctor's eyebrows went up in surprise, making his facial features as calm as possible after his shocked response. The rest of the Felisian hunting party dispersed, leaving only the three left. 

"This is a Cowa-Cowa tree," said Tecniok, his claws digging into the bark of the tree. "We use its bark for various purposes, since it is sturdy, waterproof, and quite flexible if need be." Clara climbed behind him as he allowed his tail as an extra hold for her as she went upwards. Meanwhile, The Doctor held onto the bark as he laid along the tree, over a yard down from the two Doctor-proclaimed lovebirds. Why had she fallen for that...thing so suddenly? Did she have a feline fetish? Or in order to win her heart he had to dye his skin teal? Would he ever win when it came to her? He guessed not. Well, not like that! He had to quit moping and one-up that blue kitten once and for all!

"-we also eat the fruit." Said Tecniok, still explaining the Cowa-Cowa tree to Clara. They sat on a thick, sturdy branch as he pulled off a yellow-skinned fruit from the smaller branches right above their heads. He pulled it apart, giving her a half to try. She took a bite of the yellow-orange fruit flesh, eyes wide as she tasted the food for the first time. "This is delightful!" She exclaimed, devouring the rest of the fruit as the tribe leader chuckled, eating his own fruit half.

"Hello down there!" Cried a familiar Scottish voice from upwards after a few minutes of silence as they ate. Clara's head snapped around, seeing a dark shape above them that was The Doctor. He stood on a slim branch, grinning from ear to ear with pride. “Doctor!" Cried out Clara in alarm, "It doesn’t really look that sturdy! Come down from there!”

"Oh, don't be silly! I'm taking a walk on the wild si-" suddenly, the branch snapped at the base, and everything was a blur before The Doctor's vision went black. 

The Time Lord awoke in his bed in the TARDIS, not feeling any broken bones or anything. "Oh, God!" Cried out Clara, jumping out to hug him tight. "Clara-" he began, only to have her cry softly into the crook of his neck. "Don't ever scare me like that again." She cried into his ear quietly, placing a soft kiss of passion and caring on his. "-I won't." The Doctor said softly, hugging her back. "I promise."


	3. “I thought I’d lost you!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes The Doctor doesn't flee from an enemy unscathed.   
> And sometimes the good die young.   
> Or do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know that the rest of the writers are on Week 6, and technically I am as well- but the next few just never got finished in time for their actual due dates. This one was due to a very, very bad mental breakdown/episode, I got sick at one point, and school without a study hall leaves me no time to write the prompts during classes, and I'm so exhausted afterwards that I only want to sleep.

_The Daleks. Metal salt-shakers of rage with their whisk-and-toilet-plunger arms and their high-pitched screeching voices. The most absolute annoyance in the entire galaxy, most likely. The Doctor was the most firm believer of this idea._

_God, he hated them. He hated them so very much. If it wasn't for them, the Time War would have never happened. They would have never caused him to become so hostile and warlike and attempt to destroy Gallifrey himself. They were the reason Gallifrey was even missing. They killed his people. His friends. His family-_

"Doctor?"

Her. They took everything important to him...except her. She was amazing. They had met by accident, which turned out to have been anything but accidental. 

The Impossible Girl, they called her. The woman trapped in time, doomed to relive herself, life after life. The first one he had come across was in a Dalek Asylum, the second was a nanny in Victorian London- and the one he was currently with was Clara. Clara Oswin Oswald- the complete original.

"Yes?" He asked, shaking his head as if to rid his mind of his previous thoughts. "What's that?" The brunette asked, pointing to maps and blueprints, as well as coding and words on one of the many screens that circled the console of the TARDIS. "New information I just received from a scan." He said flatly, "-a Dalek ship is in this quadrant of the galaxy. Which, in galactic terms, is having the bully who promised to beat you up right in your yard." The Time Lord explained, "-and there's no way they haven't spotted up by now. They probably don't realize it's me yet, but their scans have picked up a ship." 

"-so in short terms..."  
He confirmed her suspicions with a silent nod.  
"In short terms: we're taking out a Dalek ship from the inside."

 

Careful footsteps on metal echoed quietly throughout the spirals of circular levels of the Dalek ship. The air was hot and still and the lighting was all a warm orange. Usually said lighting would be warm and comforting, but there it was eerie and foreshadowing of the Daleks and their evil.   
"What are we even going to do?" Whispered Clara, her soft tone both concerned and annoyed. Had she asked for a wondrous venture into a highly-dangerous alien spacecraft? No. Not at all. In fact, she planned on asking The Doctor if they could do something no life-threatening for once. Perhaps a walk in a park or a day at the spa. She would've loved to see the ancient alien attempt to lay still during a facial, let alone a massage. But no- she was stuck there.

"Find the main controls. Cut the wires, taking out power to key parts of the ship. Intercept the flight controls and send it hurdling into the nearest black hole, supernova, or extremely-hot star." The Doctor said, putting his glowing sonic screwdriver between his teeth as he stopped at a brown-copper ladder. His strong, yet wrinkled hands gripping one of the higher bars that were almost at his height. He stepped up, black boots standing on the first rung by the arch of the dark rubber sole of the shoe. "Come on. Onwards and upward!" He said after reaching the third rung, looking down at her from about three feet higher than usual. After his beckoning, Clara climbed up after him in her heeled boots, which made climbing difficult. She had on a blue tank top with a leather jacket, along with a black skirt and leggings. Not the ideal adventure outfit, but she had learned how to cope with ineffective women's clothing for saving the universe almost every other day. 

She climbed up after him, letting out a sigh of disagreement as she climbed up the ladder behind him, the only sound, besides steady steam streaming out from some places throughout the area, were the light clinks and clanks of shoes on metal bars.

The rest of the next few minutes felt like a blur in hindsight."Now, stand guard while I cut the wires." The Doctor said, using his sonic screwdriver to open up a panel in the copper-colored wall, revealing a seemingly-infinite expanse of wires. He pointed his sonic at each individual one after studying it thoroughly, deciding it was one that was safe to dismantle. With each zap of the device in his hand, Clara either saw light in the distance become fainter or the quiet hum of machines in the distance become even softer.

Somehow, she hadn't heard it coming until it was too late. The hum was almost silent until they were hovering right in front of her. " **HALT! YOU ARE NOW IN CUS-TO-DY OF THE DA-LEKS!** " Cried the first of the three Daleks, it's metal screech jarring The Doctor out of his concentration. He jumped up from his crouching position, watching as with a tractor-beam like ray from the lead Dalek, Clara Oswald was brought off the platform, and was dropped like a doll into the depths of the Dalek facility.

There was no time. There was no space. There was no noise as far as any of them were aware- but The Doctor knew Clara didn't scream, but he had let out the most bloodcurdling yell that anyone probably could have ever heard. Without even making a full thought, he went at the Daleks, jumping at the lead one and jabbing his sonic into its metal casing, ripping off its whisk-hand in pure rage. The other two suffered the same fate- stabs and dents in metal, parts and pieces ripped off of their bodies by force. The last one suddenly lost its levitation abilities and plummeted downwards, but the Time Lord no longer cared. All he wanted was revenge, and maybe it was best that he'd die from such drastic impact so he wouldn't have to mourn Clara.

Then, something grabbed his hand. Suddenly his mind became clear as he swung towards the ladder. What had grabbed him was a familiar feminine hand. "Need me to constantly babysit you, huh?" Clara grinned, helping him get up the rest of the ladder as he started at her in pure shock. 

As soon as the two of them reached solid ground, The Doctor grabbed her and began to kiss her passionately. Clara was shocked at first, but as soon as it became two kisses, three kisses...even more than she could remember- she had gotten used to the affection and even let it get slightly more heated, as his hands played with her hair. "I thought...I thought...I thought I'd lost you..." He began to murmur fearfully, before receiving a last kiss to his lips to quiet him as the Impossible Girl took him by the hand and led him into the TARDIS.


	4. "Are you coming back?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor had always imagined the question being posed by him. But it wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just found out that Jenna is officially leaving and Clara is going to be most likely killed off within the new series that starts in a little over 24 hours. So I honestly have no idea how I'm going to motivate myself to write prompts 5 and 6 when Clara's a dead woman walking and Whouffaldi is basically dead now.

The Doctor had always imagined the saying being asked by him. Clara leaving him for a normal life on Earth to teach her students, drive her motorbike and date boys. 

He had never realized he would be asked the question by her.

The Doctor had been hanging out in Clara's flat for a while now. Some days she just refused to go out on an adventure and instead watch TV or a movie or something. When she was extremely set on staying there, however, she'd even cook or drag him along to go shopping somewhere.

One time she had dragged him along to the local shopping mall, going shopping for new clothes. He had decided to wander off after she had kept him in some store called Forever 21 for over an hour. He had wandered around for a good amount of time, ending up in a store called Victoria's Secret. He immediately returned to Clara, eyes wide in constant fear of what he had previously witnessed. He rarely walked away from her at the mall again- and when he did, he practically sprinted past the entrance of the horrific lingerie store. 

Another time she had brought him to a local chain grocery store, doing her weekly shop. Not only did The Doctor become very bored, but he became bored in the same way a child does: he makes do, and by making do, that means creating a complete mess. In less than half an hour, the Time Lord had used one of the large black steel shelves used to hold twenty or so containers of packed waters and soda/pop in each section, along with countless boxes of cereal, to create a giant fort for himself. Luckily for Clara, the store was a lot like the American store Walmart, meaning both establishments were used to roughhousing and shenanigans by customers.

The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS, grinning like he had just discovered some new amazing thing, only to find Clara curled up on the couch. He let out a agonizing sigh, knowing that it meant that there was a boring day in store for him. "Hey." He said flatly, yet still sounding like his normal self and not disappointed. Clara turned her head away from the TV to look at him. "Hey", she greeted, moving over to make room for him as she took a fistful of microwave popcorn from a bowl in one of her hands. "Not really feelin' the whole 'getting-out-of-my-pjs' thing today. Let me finish this episode of Sex and the City and I'll find something we can agree on." 

Suddenly, The Doctor interrupted. "Actually, if you don't want to go anywhere today, I've got some things to do. Places to go, replacement parts to buy off various black markets, yada yada yada-" he said, turning on his feet and heading back towards the TARDIS door. 

Clara felt his words cut through her like a dagger. He didn't want to be with her. She was a burden to him. He didn't care about her. He thought petty errands were more important than her- no. No no no no no. She was overthinking it...wasn't she? This was just hormones or her egomania flaring up or just her being upset because she wasn't in control like she preferred to be. Tears stung in the corners of her eyes as all the conflicting emotions inside her finally collided at once, letting out the most agonizing whimper as The Doctor was about to shut the TARDIS door. 

" _Are you coming back?_ "

The Time Lord stopped in his tracks at the sound of her strained voice asked that to him, muffled sniffs coming from the living room. After a brief moment of reflection, he turned on his heel, shutting the TARDIS doors forcefully in a sense of finality, and practically ran to Clara, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. Under normal circumstances, Clara would've been shocked at what was happening- especially when The Doctor lifted her up gently and carried her away from the couch. A few seconds later, she was laid down in her bed, the weight dipping the mattress slightly told her that he had decided to stay and make himself comfortable. 

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" She asked, looking up at him, saddened by the fact that this definitely couldn't be happening so suddenly with the two of them. "Not in the slightest." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist as he placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "I love you, Clara Oswald." He murmured, nuzzling into her hair. Yet again, Clara should've been shocked- yet she wasn't. She nodded happily, placing a tiny kiss on the tip of his nose. "Of course you do, you grey-haired stick insect." She giggled, "-and I love you, too"


End file.
